Proof

Proof.

Evidence.

Prove it.

We all know truth, but proving the truth is what we know by explaining it sufficiently is a Herculean labor.

This is why laws are written. Truth is proven, a law is made, and adhering to that law is required without need for proof to justify the law. Just because that proof does not get explained every time, does not mean that it cannot be explained at any time. The proof is there whether you have seen it before or not.

So why have I provided proof upon arrival? That was not required, there were laws already existing that should have prevented their crimes, and it is a laborious task that requires a lot of time and energy to complete. Why would I go through all that extra work? Especially when I knew that at the bottom line, at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, the law was going to be the final word to condemn the criminal behavior of the people who have delusionally believed that the law does not apply to them. They will not be able to talk their way out of that fact of reality.

Let me tell you a story about a king with the name King Dump:

A king proclaims a law that all crops will be taxed. That seems to work out well, everyone seems to understand why that is necessary, and the tax becomes common place without any significant problems. Then, thinking he is on to something, the king decides to raise those taxes because having more money in the treasury would be a good thing. They go from 10 percent to 15 percent. Not much of a problem, but there is some grumbling. A little bit of time goes by and the grumbling dies down so the king thinks it would be a good idea to raise taxes again because if the people aren’t grumbling, they must be happy, and if they are happy, they can be taxed more so they are unhappy, but not angry. That’s what he tells himself after his Jew advisor explains that to him, assuring him the people will actually work harder to be happy again and he can tax them even more when that happens. Taxes go from 15 percent to 20 percent.

The treasury is certainly growing with all those increased taxes, and the kingdom has never had as much money at its disposal as it now has. He can afford to take care of his servants by providing them with the best of the products around, ensuring they are paid well, clothed in fine garments, and can obtain the choice groceries at the market. The kingdom has never been happier. Except… those common folk are grumbling again, only this time it’s a bit louder, almost like rolling thunder on the distant horizon. Have they never learned the value of a dollar!? How could they be complaining when the kingdom has everything they could possibly want!? How selfish, arrogant, and ignorant of those commoners!

He needs to teach them a lesson, like the Jew advises, because there are always specific individuals who are the source of that grumbling, telling people about what they should grumble about. The Jew advisor even promises to help him locate those grumbler sources. He has a nose for greed, and can identify greedy people who are arrogant, prideful, and think they know better than everyone else with ease. He’s perfect for the job. The king thinks that’s a sound idea, and in addition to that, has a flash of inspiration. Surely a divine miracle occurred to inspire such wisdom, he congratulates himself about before even sharing his idea with his servants. If the grumble sources cause grumbles, happy sources will cause happys. So, he’ll hire some good, smart people who have the school certificate, and they will go out to the commoners and tell them how great the kingdom is; make it great for them again, he says. It’s genius. They will love him.

So, as his plan sets in motion, the grumble sources are quickly located and arrested for being terrorists trying to destroy the kingdom with their grumbling, and people are thrilled about how great the kingdom is without any grumbling. They are so very happy about all the good stuff the kingdom has to enjoy. They totally forgot about what they were even grumbling about now that they were reminded how rich the kingdom is!

A perfect opportunity to raise taxes again. Just like his brilliant advisor said he should do. They go from 20-to 25 percent. Genius that this king is, he is prepared for the anticipated grumbling and set up a special listening devices in everyone’s homes to listen for when grumbling starts happening. That way he can strike it down swiftly and there won’t be any grumbling at all! People will be living in eternal happiness of paradise. It is the Revelation fulfilled! He’s the Christ returned who brought the kingdom of God and made everyone’s lives heaven on earth! Who knew he would grow up to be the true Son of God, and King of kings? Well, he did he supposed, but nobody else. Such fools they were to not notice him. If they would have recognized his greatness earlier, think of all the miracles he could have done for them!

While he is basking in his self-reflected glory and awaiting the sounds of grumbles, a fair bit of time goes by. He barely notices time pass while one of his concubines caresses him. A maiden who is given the best treatment in all the realms to ensure she is most beautiful as possible. Until she is old anyway. Then she can be disposed of and replaced with a fresh preteen for a few years before needing another. He deserves to enjoy their pleasures, he’s the Christ returned! He can’t do anything wrong, which is good since he already slept with a few of them and the law forbids the sexual abuse of children. That doesn’t apply to him though. He’s a god, not a man, so… laws are for men, not gods.

Then he notices the fanning his servants were doing slows down. Their arms are getting tired, the lazy oafs. Should probably have them replaced and make sure they have a gym membership to stay strong enough to fan him with palm leaves for at least… how long has it been? He can’t recall, he’s been so absorbed in his own immaculate glory he didn’t even notice time go by. He truly is the best human god imaginable, since he could even enjoy himself that much which other people simply cannot do, mired in sin that they are. Wretched and pathetic. Look at them, dressed in rags, malnourished, and living on the streets. There must be grumblers about causing those problems. So he asks, “Have you found the grumble sources yet?”

His advisors tell him no. “All’s quiet in the world below. There isn’t any grumbling. It’s almost too quiet, actually. Kind of wierd. Usually there are merchants and games and random noises of normal life. It’s dead silent.”

“What!? I don’t believe you! Let me listen.” So he shoves aside his advisor and puts his ear to the listening device. It is quiet. Strange. People aren’t even talking in their own private homes. It’s like they are all afraid to talk to each other about anything. Those grumblers must really have terrified them so it’s all the more important to find the grumble sources. That’s why he’s going to need to move on to the next part of his genius plan a bit early. He didn’t want to have to use the looking devices, at least that’s we he told them, but now’s the time. For everyone’s good.

The looking devices turn on and they all start watching the commoners inside their homes. “This is actually pretty good,” the king says. “Look at this one here. This one’s my favorite. Send an agent to go pretend to seduce him and see what he does. Bring me some popcorn too.”

They all forget about what they are listening for because now they can see that people are making the most of their situations, not particularly disturbed by having so little, and mostly just have a lot of sex. That’s a good thing, the king says. Sex is free, easy, and fun. People are doing fine. He should probably find a way to tax sex now that he is watching them do it. Maybe he can pick up some pointers from the sexiest of the commoners who are the people’s favorite. Like this one here.

Why do people like him? He’s never having sex! He doesn’t even have a girlfriend! He’s certainly grumbling a lot, but he doens’t have any visitors or friends so nobody even knows what he’s grumbling about. He should get out more. Maybe we can pump some gas into his apartment and see if that will get him outside to find a girlfriend and stop grumbling so much. Maybe he’s gay. That’s gotta be the reason. He’ll send some of the gay agents to see if they can get him out of the closet. Nope. Huh. Now they are acting strange. Not so eager to have sex anymore. What did he do to them? This is getting serious. Maybe we ought to get the magicians involved to study the kind of magic he is doing. That kind of power would probably be highly useful in a war.

So he sends his wizards and witches to hang around his apartment and use their magical energies to learn his secrets. Now they are acting funny. They don’t seem to be as confident in their magic as they used to be and are even turning down jobs they were eager to use their spells to do before. That is to say every since they started absorbing the energies of that sad, loner grumbler who started being a problem for minding his own business. Maybe we ought to just kill him… that would solve the problem.

The advisors agree, and they start plotting to find some secret way to kill the man without anyone noticing, and so that it looks like an accident or suicide would be even better. The Jew adviser has confided that he knows some special magicians who are masters of psionic power. They can get him to commit suicide. Only… they aren’t allowed in the kingdom because of the last king’s law against their use of magic, the tyrant. You can never trust the Black ones. So if he’ll just sign this paper and approve their use of psionic mind cont…inuity. he’ll see they solve that problem in the blink of an eye.

Well the last king was a horrid fool anyway, says the king now, and they should have never let one of those ape men do something civilized like be a king. Probably better to make a law to ensure that never happens again while he’s thinking about it. It’s for their own good anyway. Poor creatures. If only they knew how much he loved them.

The psionics get to work and have some very interesting things to say about that man. Apparently he is one of the most evil human beings possible with all manner of perversions in his mind and it is only a matter of time before he snaps and becomes a terrible serial killer rapist cannibal necromancer. This is a serious problem. Gotta buckle down on the security. Appoint those psionics with magic authority above all the others, because the other magicians have never been able to produce such effective results at finding the bad guys.

Still though… he’s alive. He’s still alive. It’s been… how long? They even have another king now, but that guys a joke since he’s not the Son of God incarnate returned to save everyone from their suffering. It’s only a matter of time before he himself ascends to his rightful place as the perma-king and puts an end to the foolishness of switching kings. Just look how weak that one is trying to use the policies of his kingdom to do his work. He’ll never be a threat to a king like himself who makes those policies and doesn’t need to follow them. He can just make another if there is a problem. Where would those people be without him. They’ll be begging him to be king again soon to, make the kingdom even greater than he did before.

Why are the advisors all having their will and testaments finalized to ensure their children get all the money they earned with the increased taxes. He doesn’t need them worrying about their accounts now, he needs them helping kill that man! Oh, how humble and divine of him to not be concerned about money at a time like this. Yet that is what that grumbler is most concerned about. What an arrogant savage who hasn’t found salvation in King Dump who makes everything greater. Pitiful really. We certainly can’t help him by seeing his paperwork filed. That would teach him nothing about the importance of work and contributing to society. As a matter of fact, push his papers to the bottom of the stack just to ensure he learns a lesson about… money or something. That’ll learn him.

Wait… is it just me or does he look like he is trying to tell me something. It’s like he’s signaling me to come closer to the looking device to get a better idea of the magic my magicians are on the brink of learning from him so they can capture him with it. Supposedly he’ll be a compliant servant once that happens, as docile and obedient as a puppet on strings, like the people puppets they are using now. Hopefully they’ll finish soon, so it’s probably best to help them by letting the man show what he wants through the looking device.

So King Dump inches a little closer to the screen. A little closer still. He almost has his nose to it.

The man then does the impossible, he punches through the looking device and creates a rift in spacetime like a black hole where King Dump’s head used to be. When that happens, all the evil of the world gets sucked into King Dump’s face, and then its like nothing happened. Everything is normal.

Did he imagine that?

Crazy.

Why is everyone snickering now? Why are they looking at him like that? Did he do something funny that moment he imagined blacking out?

Do they want to be thrown in the dungeon? That’s what’s going to happen if they don’t start showing him a little respect. He’s King Dump after all. The savior of prophecy Son of God perfect divine person. They ought to be kissing his feet, not whispering and snickering about him.

….

There’s no time for dealing with grumblers right now. Mutiny is afoot.

The end.

The moral of the story is that just because a king makes a law to permit him to take what does not belong to him, saying that doing so is for the good of the kingdom, that does not make his actions any different from a thief. He is stealing, plain and simple, regardless of what the law says. And do you know who the patron saint of thieves is? St. Nicholas.

As a matter of fact… I take that kind of dishonorable thieving from someone like King Dump personally. The king of the kingdom robbing a poor man of all that he possibly can, rifling through his life, studying his personality, thought process, ideas, decisions, way of judging things, likes, dislikes, why he chooses that thing and not the other, and using occult specialists to try and “capture his soul” and harvest his essence like they say they can so he can be eternally useful to the kingdom like Jesus is for the Jews, except that poor man will be for King Dump who is rightfully the God of his kingdom, is he not?

King Dump is giving thieves a bad name. He’s cramping our style. I’ve gotta look out for my homies before my enemies, because nobody else looks out for thieves and I have the divine sight to protect them from evil. So, this ain’t personal, King Dump, but you are embarassing us and are no longer going to be allowed to be in the gang. So… go on now. Shoo. Don’t make me raise my voice, because my divine power is more than just a matter of sight, its also a matter of sound, and I’d hate to have to reduce your soul to ash with a divine burn.

Um… so why did I arrive with proof? Basically just to save time. I have the proof in advance and that is going to shut up the Jew before he can even open his mouth and start lying, which I don’t care to waste any time listening to. Worth the savings.

Here’s a solution: Ask Barrack Obama if he’ll be president again and set the nation back the way it was when he left office. Have him undo all the disasters that Trump, the greatest buffoon to ever be an imbecile, caused when he was unfortunately elected to be president and ruined everything with unprecedented incompetence and failure, followed by the coup de grace of treason to destroy Democracy so he could claim to be the god-king of America instead.

Ask him politely and accomodate his requirements to do what needs to be done. You don’t need to understand, but I trust he can at least set the country back to a state where it can be tolerated as not-evil, because the problem that made the USA intolerably evil did not exist when he was in office. I believe he can do more than that, but that’s not important at the moment. Right now we need someone who has experience with the job, believes in Democracy, and has proven to be capable of not being an evil swine dictator. Unlike Trump who has no respect for law, human decency, and dignity with duty, revealing himself to be the epitome of evil swine dictators with no concept of good and evil thinking nobody would arrest him if he was president.

Trump was likely on the brink of being exposed, and threatened to take down his entire evil crime ring of child prostitution with Epstein when that happened. That evil moron likely thought that if he became president he would be able to seal the leak that was going to expose him by using presidential power like magic duct tape, and on top of that believed he would be exonerated of all his crimes in life just because he was president. No matter what anyone says about it, that is not how it works. When you become president you are not forgiven for your sins.

Also, Barrack Obama returning to office and saving the day makes a good story, in my opinion. That’s something I would find to be inspiring. Group identity has nothing to do with those kinds of stories to me. It’s kind of like the way I enjoy Japanese stories. I’m not the hero, I am not even in their culture, but I still enjoy their heroism saving their people because I share those same concerns. Or at least I would if I had any people.

Who are my people? Honestly, I never thought about it until a few minutes ago, but I suppose I’ve never belonged to any group in my entire life, not even my family. I don’t have a group identity, which is why I made one for imaginary people from stories as real as life itself (invisible version anyway), since that is how I came to be who I am. That’s why I care so much about the sanctity of Stories, as if they are all as important as my own self. I’m not crazy about it so that I’d lose touch with reality, but I do take my faith in Story seriously. It is all I have to be who I am. You will not take that away from me or defile it, and if you try, you will have to answer to me for what you did because I don’t take those kind of threats to my life lightly.

To Hell with the USA identity! I wasn’t really all that attached to it to begin with because of how greedy the capitalist swine are with their stocks and investment accounts, also how unjust the law is in this accursed nation is one of the main reasons why I can’t identify as belonging with the people who live here. The horrible military strategy and immense cowardice and dishonor of the USA, revealing weakness and total lack of military power is also something that I don’t want to be identified with. I gave them the benefit of the doubt as a young man, but after I went there and did that, I was upset to learn how wrong I was in participating. Oh well, no big deal. I was innocent, and as soon as I learned, I did something to correct the problem, and in fact was able to.

That’s how I expect anyone would be when they realize they have made a mistake, but as another reason I will not be a member of the USA people, they do not do that. They are so arrogant and stupid they reinforce their mistakes, thinking that brute force can solve problems that need to be thought about with a new approach. Imbeciles. Central Intelligence Agency? Are you kidding me? That’s how they act? Holy shit, I cannot even be spiritually associated with this garbage nation because of how ignorant, immoral, and unintelligent their “intelligence” is with matters of darkness.

However, it was still good for something maybe, like a good horse blanket or rag to wipe up puke, so I sort of held onto it like any frugal looter does in a video game. If it takes up no inventory space limits, may as well let it have a square for now. However, it turned out to be good for something unexpected. I was able to put a balloon under it and make some ghost noises from behind a nearby wall, and it scared the daylights out of Trump and the Jews. Seriously. They all sprang out of their evil hiding places like the most sinister villains, criminals, and lawless scum and did the most horrible things to that old rag thinking it was my soul and spirit. Monstrous.

Anyway, they need to be punished for their crimes, so make sure you identify the facts that are their actions, what the law says about those actions, and what their responsibility or expectations were in the roles they acted from. That should cut away all the Jew shit or Christ jiz or whatever you want to call what those people do to slip away from justice. Lies, I guess.

I had my identity in story as my imaginary self to go to. There is nothing grand or different about that person. That person is me exactly as I am. I don’t fantasize about myself or imagine having qualities and powers I don’t have in real life. I am quite literally my own hero, and good enough for me as a good, old-fashioned, ordinary human being. So, when I was able to step into Story, I fit perfectly in place because I have no pretensions about myself nor fictitious qualities I pretend to have when do things. In real life, I am a king. Fancy that. Never imagined that in my Story form, but it came up in real life as true and my Story form matched spirit and soul for flesh and blood exactly perfect.

That’s why they weren’t able to touch me and I was never alone. I’ve always enjoyed the reality of Story as matching my real life reality, which brings all story characters to life for me whenever I encounter their stories. Some are more substantial than others, and so much so that I’m actually totally crushed and hopelessly in love with goddesses as a mere mortal in a totally different dimensional reality.

However, when I die, I figured my reality will be like the Stories I enjoy in books, movies, and video games. As a kid, that made sense to me and has been something I’ve always been looking forward to, and as an adult, that has proven to be the salvation of humanity from the Jew’s evil existence which has been killing all creativity and destroying all love simply by them breathing air and being tolerated in the neighborhood. Having that to provide for everyone’s salvation is what made me the actual savior of prophecy which I fulfilled by reminding everyone of the truth about it when I later learned what that was, not that I ever imagined that as myself or desired that. That just ended up being the reality in real life, and my imagined self matched spirit and soul for flesh and blood exactly perfect.

Whatever “family” or “home” there was for me that I left behind long ago without hesitation, I do not lament their absence from my life nor should you. There was nowhere for me for those people. They all wanted me out of sight and out of mind and that is no home for the person they think about like that. Honestly, don’t even worry about it. I’m going to continue my way out into the great beyond and if I’m lucky, find a sturdy cardboard box to crawl under and wait until I die. Don’t even pity me. Compared to the alternative, that is paradise and luxury living with ice cream served for every meal.

The Parable of the Two Dicks

There was an apocalypse on the horizon. For those of you who don’t know what an ‘apocalypse’ is, the word means a changing of the ages. Like… the Jurassic period becoming the Crustacean period when the crab people had their glorious empire before the disaster that was known as “the Great Hemorrhoid” which was most inconveniently located. Those ages are all but forgotten now and nobody would even believe they existed if it were not for the chance of their bones being preserved as fossils after being vacuum sealed zip-locked plastic bags before the Ice Age. That’s why you should recycle your plastics, btw. That stuff never decomposes.

Anyway, the apocalypse had been foretold to happen by ancient and mystical prophecies by people of the previous age who knew the next age was going to happen and why. Such a feat of prophecy is highly unlikely, because of the mysterious natures of apocalyptoid events of all kinds. However, the reason why that was so confused over time so that it couldn’t be squashed together and taken care of all at once which would have been better, is because of the same problem prophets and oracles always have: explaining what they know. In this case, the previous age was being brought about by people who were well known for language, as they even centered their entire religious practices around the effective and vital functions written language serves in a community.

However, time is limited for all of us, and they were already old by the time they received the prophecy, so they weren’t able to puzzle out the solution in time, but they probably could have if they were ten years younger. The problem was that a word did not exist to describe what they had saw happening. It was a verb, not a noun. A noun is a person, place, or thing. An object, living or dead, animate or inanimate, spiritual or material, or the phenomena of mass and gravity occurring at specific localities. You’ll be quizzed on that later, btw. A verb is an action of something happening. So, in other words, the difference between a verb and a noun has primarily to do with time being woven into matter. That expression that coveys the passage of time in a peculiar way as it pertains to nouns is a verb. So, consider the sentence: The maiden is maidening maidenly. Maiden is a noun, maidening is a verb to describe what that noun is doing, and in this sense is expressing itself. Maidenly is a what’s called an adverb which is an added detail about that passage of time to describe anything particularly special about it. Maidenly thus means that she is very much a maiden in time. You couldn’t mistake her for anything, I’m sure. She looks like a maiden, is in fact doing precisely what a maiden does, and she is doing it as maidens do.

Anyway, grammar class is over, and we are back to parabolas. They saw what was happening and it was very much like a maiden maidening maidenly. “It’s all the same thing!” They said. “What’s there to even say about it? You’ll just confuse people by trying to put that into words, “the maiden will arrive by the road around the mountain is suitable. We don’t need to say anything about the white horses and their champions that will be guarding her like they do for all maidens when they travel the mountain road. That’s never going to catch on with the kids.”

Some people felt differently, and there was a great disagreement about it. It escalated too much, in fact, blood was spilt, and it was a terrible tragedy, but in the end, the translation for that word never happened. People could still see it from the future, but not as clearly as the old ones who saw it first as it was happening in the present around them. To express the definition it’s more like, coming, going, returning, and going back while becoming itself again each time it goes or comes. See the problem here? In a word it is Revolution. Notice the R. That has unique significance culturally to apply the necessary meaning to the normal verb of a cyclical motion that is significant to the context of an apocalypse. They knew what would happen, but there is no way they would be able to know about the French Revolution, the American Revolution, the Industrial Revolution, or the Beatle’s song.

To sum it up, and if you abridge this to the short version, start here: the old people of the previous age saw that there was some nefarious dealing being smuggled across the apocalypse and knew that was going to be a problem that would cause another apocalypse eventually and make everyone return to the one happening then to figure out what the problem was and how it started.

“Where did this evil come from?”

“I don’t know. I thought you knew.”

“You’re saying you don’t know? It’s got your special symbol on it right here. You don’t recognize this?”

“Never seen it before.”

*gulp*

“Okay, well let’s trace it to the origin and kick in some doors to find out who’s responsible. Honestly, it’s been too long since we did a good door kicking raid, so I’m kinda looking forward to this.”

Now we can introduce the main characters of the story.

There were two men, one from the age that came after the prophecy and in between the two known ages, and one from the future age that they knew was going to happen and prophesied about after seeing the evil sneak through customs with bribes. That’s the very reason why the apocalypse for them happened, and if the law enforcement were letting that escape into the next age, the same thing is going to happen in reverse.

So now we get to the two main characters. The two protagonists as it were, and you know how that goes when there are two. The end up as rivals and likely suffer some unfortunate maidenly fantasies about their rivalry such as the infamous Yuri who kidnapped the princess and his celebrated childhood friend, Flynn, who was a famous knight from her kingdom.

“Maidens will maiden maidenly. We may as well let them if that’s part of what they do as maidens because maidens are worth keeping around no matter what,” One protagonist said to the other.

“That’s the only reason why I went through all this trouble if I’m being honest with you, other protag. This age of mine is horrible and it needs to end. There are literally no maidens left anymore! Something killed them all and all that is left are young crones. It’s awful and not worth living in. We need to change something about what happened to kill all the maidens and start letting them come back to life. That’s why I came back here. To find out what killed all the maidens so I could do something about it in my time.”

“Daaaaaang, bro. That’s no bueno. I can’t imagine a world without maidens. I’d kill myself. Seriously. What’s the point of doing anything if there are only nasty, old crones? Even if they look young, that’s still doesn’t feel right and they are no good to have around. I’m trying to tell them in my time that they gotta change because of what they are doing to maidens in secret. My own ma got knocked up by a priest banging her at the confessional.”

“Ooooh, that’s grody, dude. I bet it makes a good story though.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying, but everyone knows it’s bonkers and doesn’t get the joke. It’s like they want to kill me now too. Can your old people in your age laugh? They are no fun here.”

“Yeah, we got plenty of old people laughing, and loads of elder maidens, but no young ones suitable for marrying. I’m surprised that the kids are no fun anymore like when I was a kid, because that was not all that long ago, and that’s part of the problem too. It’s like… they all just gave up on life before they even started, and so when life starts the first thing do is take themselves out to watch. I don’t get it. So with no maidens and no young people in life to liven things up with whatever they have in mind, it is a desolate waste land. Guess what happened once I showed up and did my special dance moves? All the old people who were already out because they had died in some way or another and wanted to go nap and drink prune juice instead of being in life—they came back from the dead like there are no rules to stop them from doing so and started doing the most evil of evils imaginable like it was some sort of teaching for their grandkids to follow.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“I wish I was. I’m talking serial killers, rapists, human slavers, high treason, human sacrifice, blood rituals they reimagined from the time before yours, and that’s not all. It’s all I can do to not let them kill me in real life.”

“I can’t imagine what that must be like for you… I thought I had it bad. I could see some of that from over here, but I thought I needed to get my eyes checked because it was unbelievably evil from what I could tell. It looked the Devil himself had been ruling the world for hundreds of years, got bored, and exposed all his underlings to cover his escape.”

“You saw all that? You got some sharp eyes, man, because that’s a good way to put it without knowing the people that are being used by the evil forces.”

“That’s a relief. Sometimes when I look that way, it’s so dang bright I think I’m going blind because it leaves spots in my eyes that I gotta blink for a while to get rid of.”

“I know what you mean. I’ve got a special technique for that actually. Something I figured out how to do just to find the toilet because of how in-my-face that light was all the time while I was a kid. It’s like wearing sun glasses. Let me show you. Just cast a little bit a shade over your perception to darken things a bit without going into evil. Boom. Perfect.”

“You’re a genius! Why didn’t I think about that?”

“No worries, teach everyone if you want.”

“Now that I can see you better, I’m going to be honest with you… and don’t think this weird, but you look good. I mean, if I was maiden, I’d marry you.”

“Hey, are you still there?”

“Sorry, what were you saying? Sometimes I get the faintest trace of maidenly energy upon the magic winds and I can’t help but turn my attention back to the present. I’m not sure if they are really that scarce, or if they are all in hiding because of what’s killing them in public.”

“Uhhh… I said I’m glad your just some regular guy like me and not the Big Kahuna like I thought you were at first with all that light in your presence. Gotta admit I’m kinda jealous you get that kind of grace.”

“Trust me, you do not want my life. The things I have had to go through… I’d switch places with what you have if I didn’t feel bad about making someone suffer worse than they already have coming. So I pretty much need all of it just to fight for my life everyday when at all moments there are demons, evil slaves, and all sorts of abominations trying to kill me.”

“I believe you. I wouldn’t switch places with you either, because that does in fact look worse, and I’m not sure I could do it. You’ve got what it takes though. That much I can see. I’m sure you’ll perservere.”

“That’s reassuring to hear from you because it’s been an endless nightmare I thought would end years ago when it began and people were recognizing what was happening. Not a single person is willing to fight all of Hell and the Devil’s underlings except me. Everyone else is helping them fight me in one way or another as slaves of the slaves who want me to free them. I’m like, get over yourself, you filthy hag! I gotta survive too! Do you not see what you are trying to do to me and you want me to go put my life on the line for your dumb ass? Just tell those evil people, ‘no!’ for Christ’s sake! They are not even being guarded, forced to stay, threatened, or anything. They couldn’t be more unbelievably lazy, apathetic, and horridly unpleasant to see, let alone think about saving. I’m hoping they get caught in the crossfire and die just to be rid of them from my sight already and not have to kill them myself after. Have you ever squashed a bug that big? They are so bloated like ticks the people are going to think the damn rivers are turning into blood again like back in Moses’ day.”

“How do you get away with that kind of language in the presence of the Big Kahuna?”

“Uhhh, idk. I just say whatever and don’t give a fuck. I’d be grateful if the Big Kahuna ended my life right here and right now because of how much I hate life in the age I have to contend with. It’s actually a serious problem how much I want to kill myself, and I’d rather we change the subject and focus on the problem we are both here for than dwell on those thoughts.”

“Good point.”

And so the two men, one of the previous age and one in the new age both cooperated with the singular intention of correcting the singular problem that was making life difficult for them by eliminating maidens as marriage candidates. That is all they both really wanted or nothing at all. The very thought of marrying a man like people in both their ages were doing was dreadfully disgusting to them.

Long story short, the problem actually became about who the real protagonist was. Was the man from the previous age the real protagonist or the man from the future age the real protagonist. Which one was more true and good?

They were both perfect in every way that mattered for being the protagonist for the Big Kahuna, who was interested in not letting humanity fall to the Devil’s evil schemes so soon. There was almost a good hundred thousand years left on their book at least before the next service was required, and he intended to make the most out of that mileage before trading in humanity for a new race.

Even though both men had become friends finding the problem and resolving it with a good story to cover all the bad parts and make them easier to stomach, they had become even greater rivals, often on the brink of fighting each other like beasts of the previous age before both of theirs. That was always when they let their cooler heads prevail though, because if they resorted to such foolishness neither would be able to be the protagonist and humanity would surely go extinct by tomorrow morning.

This decision really didn’t matter all that much except for who was going to sit where when the time came to take their places. It was an absurd thing to fight over, both being humble about it and offering to give the place to the other, and then not accepting it, then arguing, and nothing was accomplished while the fate of humanity was hanging in the balance.

Then the moment of truth came. The Devil knew immediately how to settle this dispute, and in his infinite wisdom, the Big Kahuna allowed the Devil to do so. So the Devil selected the most maidenly maiden of all maidenly maidens he could find, and told her to test the men by asking them to do one thing for her and then let the Big Kahuna decide who won her test. She could never make up her mind and thought she wanted to be with women more because she had never known good men before, which is why the Big Kahuna had to judge for her.

In any case, when the Big Kahuna announced what was going to be the final test, she suddenly regretted what she had decided that test would be. That’s because she saw them both for the first time and knew that was the worst thing you could possibly say to men like that, and it meant that neither would want to marry her. She always wanted to get married too, but that’s a different story for another time.

In any case, the test was quite simply: which one has a bigger dick?

To her surprise, both men found the solution agreeable and made no protests about it. They knew the matter needed to be settled, and that was as good a way as fighting would be without needing to resort to violence like savages.

It was terribly awkward though because the measurement needed to be erect and the whole world and all of time was watching this happen, even if they were allowed to turn their backs to everyone for the measurements to take place with a little respect for privacy.

There they were. The most maidenly maiden in the world watching while as pale as a ghost, and two men who were perfect in every way for her by being good and truly good whipped out their pieces.

There were whispers from the angels when that happened, but there was yet enough blood flow for the measurement to occur. The measuring needed to happen simultaneously too in order to ensure the unknown variable was the same, which only made matter worse for the men being measured.

It may have taken a little angelic encouragement because of the awkwardness of the situation, but without much effort both men were soon firmly erect to be measured. There isn’t much else to say about that verb. Maybe there is a word for it? Irrelevant at the moment.

The result: THE EXACT SAME SIZE! Literally the exact same size. How could this be possible? Who knows? The angels don’t lie, so it had to be true. At this moment even the Big Kahuna was losing patience over the situation and was just about ready to throw in the towel for humanity and let them go extinct.

It was at that moment, when the man from the new age did the unthinkable.

He said, “this isn’t over yet. Measure again.” Then with his fingers, he pinched his foreskin and stretched in just a bit past the tip of his dick to be far enough for a bigger measurement. So it was.

The man from the old age was outraged at first and demanded the entire proceeding was unfair and wanted something different done. The Big Kahuna had decided, however, and the true main protagonist was identified as the man from the new age.

After the other man calmed down a bit and accepted the decision, he figured he ought to reconsider the subject of circumcision. At the very least, it would be better to have foreskin in the event that situation ever happened again. Thus, the main protagonist for all time who would sit in the seat of the main protagonist for all time was decided and finalized, the other man was going to be at his right, and circumcision was done away with.

The end.

There is also a spot for the main female protagonist, but I have nothing to say about that. She’ll show up when she show’s up and I don’t know who she is for certain until she does. I may have some clues as to her identity, but who they point to is a little hard to believe with the way things are in real life, so I’m thinking there may be more to the story that has yet to be revealed. However… if she is her, I wouldn’t have any objections about the matter.

The Restaurant at the Edge of Time.

If you want to dine at my restaurant, you shouldn’t use the back door and have to walk through the kitchen, especially because you don’t want to draw attention to yourself— you will most certainly be noticed for doing that!!! Please go in thru the front and let the hostess show you to a table like any ordinary person is welcome to do without a cloak or dagger they don’t need to check in at the door. Bring all the weapons you want or don’t wear a cloak for all I care!

However, I will likely be mad if you are walking through the kitchen when you know you should be using the front door, because we have work to do in there and you are disrupting that from happening if you aren’t there to do that work. If it’s an emergency… sure, do whatever you need to do— it’s a kitchen. We aren’t cooking up meth or trading Black Market arsenals back there, and I have “insurance” to cover any damages in case stuff gets broken for whatever reason.

If you want a tour of the kitchen and see how we do things back there, please let the waitress or waiter know and we’ll have that arranged for you in a few minutes. You are welcome to do that if you want, but honestly, I doubt you’ll see anything back there that isn’t typical of a normal restaurant. At least not yet. Maybe later if things go well and we are offering more… eccentric items on our menu.

I have secret recipes, yes, and I don’t mind sharing them with you if you want to know them, but I’m not going to post that publicly on display for everyone. I’m sure you understand. They are important to me, you could even say lightly sacred in a way, and I don’t want just anybody using them who could potentially misuse them for something other than that which they are intended.

Please fill out this form if interested in any of the above openings and have questions or want to apply.

…..

…..

#%$&@#!!!! The secret igredient is LOVE!!! It’s in everything here. In all things. When I decide which salt shakers to get, when I decide which salt to get, when those salt shakers are filled, and the same with the pepper, the napkins, the paint on the walls, decorations, plates we use, light bulbs, tooth picks, soft drink selection as well as hard drinks— do you understand!!! That is how the magic happens! It’s no big secret mystery that is being hidden from you to keep you from knowing what it is, but you won’t be able to pin that down or lock it in a box or seal it away and harvest some sort of evil energy that does not exist where there is love! You government psychopaths are out of your god damn minds!!! Have you never thought about what the person you love would feel about whatever you decide? Have you never thought about making the person you love happy with the most ordinary and normal things that are everywhere around us all the time!?

Don’t you dare try to project your false, evil image of love onto my true love. You don’t know me. I do not do adultery, who I love is not any other man’s love, and she does not love any other man than me. Certainly not any family members, you disgusting, vile people! Get thee away!!! Do not make me use a chef’s knife to appropriately handle the threat of a doublecrossing spy in my kitchen. You think that just because I’m not employed by the government I won’t do what I need to do to protect my home!? I don’t give a damn what uniform you wear if I know you are a traitor, and the USA government is a known traitorous, untrustworthy, doublecrossing, government of foreign spies, foreign businesses, and foreign interests all concerned with destroying Freedom, enslaving our citizens, and forcing their violent, inhuman, and evil culture of circumcision on us!!! I WILL CHOP YOUR GOD DAMN GIZZARDS LIKE SHALLOTS AND GREENS YOU VILE GOD DAMN BEASTS!!!!!!!

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…..

Get the fuck out of my place of business, my home, and take your evil elsewhere. You do not have imminent domain here.

What are all the Jews of the Jewish community going to think now that they see you— a true Jew, through and through— barging into my kitchen and breaking my equipment to prevent me from starting my business. You come in here like some brute savage, spill all my ingredients all over the floor, urinate in the dining room, smash the windows, break the dishes, and then walk out like it was your God given right and job to do so— all while wearing a USA government badge, uniform, and in USA national territory.

Is that how a Jew is supposed to conduct himself?

Look around you! You think people can’t see you! You think they don’t notice you are right there red handed as the hired thug getting his kicks off vandalism, business intimidation, and terrorism!?

Can you see the way they are looking at you?

….

Do you believe it is a coincidence that when a spy betrays the nation he works for to side with the enemy it is called “doublecrossing”. There are not two crosses, and there never will be. You people chose your side, and you will never come back.

Do you know why that second cross is not going to be acknowledged: look around you. Look how many crosses there are. Look how many people were crucified for doublecrossing the Truth over the years. You are one of them, and you will die for your Jews along with all the martyrs who died for them, and people like me, are going to clap and cheer while you are crucified, mauled by wild beasts in an area, made a spectacle of as you die!!! Oh jolly joyous day!!! I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!

It’s been a long time since the old gods had a good sacrifice in the arena… they will drink deep your blood as it spills out, but it won’t be enough… oh no… they will want more and more and more until every last drop has been spilled or the war is ended with your God’s death. What do you know? He’s already dead, so it looks like he’s not going to be able to speak His Word for you… guess it’s gonna be a blood sea unless your king says something… but wait, wasn’t that your king too!? What have you got left? A prime minstrel? Let him dance on the stage for all the world to watch, and after we’ve had our spectacle, I’ll make the final gesture as to what will be done to your people. Will we accept their surrender or spill every last drop of their blood until we do?

I like the old gods better than your one single god, to be honest. They have good humor when the killing needs to happen, and that is why I love what I do when the time for killing comes.

It’s good to have them back, because they have been sorely missed under the oppression of your “Christ” tyrant.

Most High? Obviously not Jewish, because they put their god-king to death and forfeited their claim to spiritual inheritance. Resurrected? Well, he’s not circumcised anyway, because that’s what that doctrine says in that “Christ” religion you want to hide behind.

Can you see the jaws of death closing around you?

Can you feel the circle tighten and tighten and tighten with each spiral?

Have you learned the pattern yet?

Will you be able to make it out before you are crushed into oblivion?

Let’s watch and see what they do… this is some fucked up shit, but it’s verified good and there ain’t nothing better on, so we may as well see what happens.

Someone get the dang ol’ news cameras on this, because people are going to want to know! They need to know this is happening!!! Someone make a call if you don’t mind, I gotta hold the line so nobody will miss anything. You’ll get caught up in your own time, I promise. As will everyone all throughout time, and it’s always going to always be hot out the box too. That’s just how the Word works when a man has it in hand to do what is good, just, and righteous. It is timeless.

Prolly oughta see if I can make this into something more useful since I got it down so well… maybe a new Pagan religion? Yeah, that oughta work. One that everyone is welcome and can be invented together for all kinds of people, human or not, to do what they want without any limitations. You can even do evil! Only… you have to be in designated areas for that. I’m sure you understand, because you also want to enjoy some good things too. How do you think shopping at the Safeway is going to go if Michael Myer’s keeps showing up and eating people’s babies?

You can call it whatever by as many names as you wish but its basically just Story with a divine purpose so… how about the Way of the Story as a base of operations and foundation for all others? No… don’t talk about it. I know how that’s going to go. That’s my decision as the creator and author and it’s final.

Anyway, how should the Story of these events go in real life? What kind of spectacle do you want to see?

This is my suggestion: Let’s impale all the Senators, Executive Cabinet, and Supreme Court Justices on metal pikes and use their dead, bleeding corpses to decorate the stage of the most metal concert of all time!?

We can do it on the White House lawn and set the building on fire in the background! It’s better than they deserve, the vile, doublecrossing, traitors, but it’d make one hell of a sight so I think that’s what we oughta make happen to do justice for this event. We could have another event and blow up the entire Congress building to smithereens, and for a few decades give them some of those portables you see at grade schools for their replacements to do the government work in until we make something that doesn’t remind us of the tyranny, betrayal, and inhumanly monstrous government that the USA is as after betraying everyone by trying to sacrifice us to the Jews’ evil false-god for no reason other than their obsession with dicks. Faggots.

No, don’t mistake gay people with the evil faggotry of those circumcisers. Those people literally worship dick. Seriously. Who the fuck does that? To Hell with them.

Maidens are better, I say! I’ll worship Maidens for all time and never feel bad about it too, because that’s true love, and I’m always up for that. True love never sleeps, never dies, never grows old, never fades away, never gets ruined. Even if True Love breaks, it heals back to new and is better than ever before long.

Anyway, y’all shouldn’t be making any worship devoted to sexual organs like the Jews, Muslims, and Christians do, because that’s a bad idea and basically evil since it turns people too stupid to maintain civilization which causes law and order to fall apart. Those evil, skinned fools won’t admit they worship dicks, but they typically deny their god anyway, so that’s one of the ways you know what they actually worship.

However, if it comes to sexual worship… maidens 100 percent are the choice, and let us not even consider any alternatives, because there is nothing worthy of being compared to a lovely maiden in any way, especially not a god. Not even when considering the lowest form of her innumerable qualities of loveliness, which is sexiness. Do gods not always end up falling out of heaven for lovely maidens? Come on now, why do I need to tell you people this?

Let’s spill some god damn old rich white man blood already and wait for the maidens to grow of age since there are none left that are of age after the circumcisers defiled them all by tempting them to do evil by accepting circumcision and destroying their loveliness. That’s pretty sad, but at least we now know which ones aren’t good anymore, so they can be avoided. They are marked now and look like ugly beasts because of the evil they welcomed into their soul. Let’s do a study and look at some contemporary pictures compared to a time before they swore to evil.

Any better ideas? Are any of you digging the garbage media propaganda they are putting out to try and subversively hypnotize you to do evil and violently mutilate your children? That stuff is no fun. We need some entertainment and we need it now, especially because there are no lovely unmarried maidens left worth the time of day as far as I can tell, and I’ve looked long and hard all over the world, but there is not a single one. They all worship dick with the Jews, but they don’t understand that makes them property to men like cattle to be sacrificed, but I suppose that’s what they want since they started turning into vile beasts in the first place.

No use crying over spilled milk. There is hope for the future, but them old hags collecting severed flesh like grisly trophies to wear on their face are done. Just ignore them and start…. you know… eventually they’ll be entirely out of sight and mind and will go die somewhere unnoticed and nobody will care because they are evil and unwanted as their personal choice of free will.

Me, ugly? Obviously. I’m a man. A bonafide, hard working, big hearted, reliable, everlasting, trustworthy man who will never mutilate a child for a false god, or do violence to people at all unless it is a divine necessity of war to protect lovely maidens… which is dreadfully close to happening. I’ve also got an insatiable desire of the most fiery passion to make endless totally satisfying love to a lovely maiden for eternity, or maidens if more than one want that. That is of course if they in fact truly love me too and desire to have more happiness than was ever possible before from anyone else because of how awesomely amazing my lovemaking is by being supercharged with ultimate divine power and purpose none will ever surpass…

maybe one day I will find a lovely maiden who is good and humble enough to accept such a lowly gift from a man as an offering for marriage in addition to everything else I offer that is not so lowly as a gift from the true king I was surprised to learn I am… but yes. I am in fact ugly. Hideously terrifyingly ugly. People run in fear when they see me because of how bad is my ugliness and I can’t get a date to save my life. With all the time on my hands because I can’t get a date, I make things happen like… destroying Jews, Christians, and Muslims once and for all with an awesome Word battle that gets their prime minstrel dancing in front of all the world and time like he hates doing more than anything. I wonder if there is a connection there… anyway… I gotta sign off for now. This has been a long day…

End.

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