The horrible sound

Not long ago… maybe a month or two, maybe more (I don’t keep track of time so it is hard to say)… the sound started. I don’t know how else to describe it, other than as a high pitched frequency that is ridiculously loud. It is horrible sounding… makes me feel sick, distracts my thoughts to make it hard to focus, and is terrible.

It feels and sounds like some sort of technology being used inhumanely, and the only people I would suspect capable of such evil with no regard for the humanity they are affect are Jews, but I have no evidence of this so… I suspect the government because it is the kind of technology the government would have had access to which could be perverted by a simple minded fool who decided to use it for evil. Like the “comms laser” in the science fiction novels The Expanse. A communications array that is given a power supply that greatly exceeds its function and produces an electromagnetic radiation beam in the form of concentrated radio waves.

In any case it sucks. I want it to stop. This wasn’t happening several months ago, and I think it is affecting everyone in the general vicinity of my apartment.

Maybe it’s just severe tinnitus? Probably not. It is abnormally loud and clearly coming from some exterior source.

Idk… just writing it down now. What could they hope to accomplish with such an evil use of technology? Why would they use communications technology for the antithesis of communication?

How are you supposed to even get help for this kind of thing?

I’ve got nothing else to say other than to record for legal purposes how unpleasant it is to feel that device being broadcast in my direction. It makes my stomach upset, it is loud, obnoxious, distracting, and makes me feel unwell. They shift the power up and down, but eventually it stops and I feel better. Probably there is a change of watch. I wonder if that is the authorized use of that equipment…

What are they trying to do? What do they want? Why are they like that? Do they have a problem with me? What could that problem be?

These are all questions I want answered, but they have yet been able to answer. Maybe someday they will be found by the FCC who will know how to communicate to them the severity of the crime they are committing, which they are ignorant of, and punish them accordingly.

They seem to think that kind of domestic terrorism is okay because it is waveform technology, but do not realize how dangerous of a threat radio theory has always known that type of technology to be, and that is why organizations like the FCC exist at all. Radio waves and sound waves can be used to kill human beings invisibly. Any sort of abuse of that technology is as dangerous and inhumane of threat as biological or chemical weapons, if not worse.

It’s also possible I have a brain tumor, like my grandfather had. I suppose we won’t ever know because there are no medical services available for poor people. I wonder how he afforded brain surgery… well, that was a different age and we don’t have the luxuries of that kind of medical help anymore.

Brain tumor around his temple that after the surgery left him deaf in that ear, but otherwise was fine as far as I could tell.

Yeah, can I have a brain scan?

No. We are the doctors here and you will not tell us what you need. Besides it’s too expensive for losers like you, but I’m not going to even consider why you think you need one since you specifically requested that.

Who the fuck do you think I am if you don’t realize I am a loser!? Do you have any idea how miserable my life has been with failure, loss, and disappointment? I have never had anything that I want. I had a novel published, but immediately after realized that I did not in fact actually want that. I wanted something else which only I could grant myself. The novel being published was a horrible experience and I never want to do that again because of how hateful that industry is. Exactly like that… you’d think being published would be a cause to be happy, but… something about it was horribly wrong, unenjoyable, and made it a terrible experience. I am pretty sure my contract is up now, but I don’t give a shit. Dig that book out of the trash if you want to read it later.

That is a horrible industry of the most toxic and hateful people… Not for me. No thanks. That is not why I wrote a book. I’ll do some flimsy, cheap thing I can patch together on my own and not give a shit, because I don’t need you people for anything. Surely that fool of a publisher felt himself smug with arrogance as though it was him granting me something I want, but that couldn’t be furthest from the truth. He revealed how much I hate people like him and that very industry, and that is not anything I wanted, but I know what to do about it by drawing a line between them and me and never letting them pass.

Did you media pretenders actually think I would accept your help into the industry? Get over yourselves. I don’t need you, that industry is disgusting, dirty, unclean, and makes shitty products that are not worthy of my quality of work. None of that stuff is worth reading, because even though it may be entertaining, it is false with incorrect messages that confuse readers who are unable to interpret them well enough to reject them while knowing the truth. I don’t need to waste my time with those people’s work, and I won’t. Let them pat each other on the backs and tell themselves what they want, but that is nothing to me, nor is their approval of my work important since they are so confused, ignorant, and false with their livelihood.

I am definitely a loser though because I don’t play their games when I realize they are playing a game, and if it is something that is not a game, they don’t realize how screwed they are, because I am not playing. So, just because I got what you want does not mean that I wanted that nor that I enjoy it. As I have come to realize, you people are so far beneath me in dignity and morality that you won’t ever be able to see eye to eye with me. The fact that they crank up the torture device when I write those words is proof of how ignorant, crude, and uncivilized they are without morality.