If I were rich enough to employ the necessary professionals:

I would make this video:

Satire— Political Campaign Ad.

Afro Buttkisser for president. He cares about the common working man. He guarantees you will be cared for by the administration. The sacred, holy, infallible administration of Uncle Sam. He has a giant dick you can imagine sucking on. A circumcised dick, and he spurts out gallons of goo. Your favorite.

Just look at how he interacts with the common peasants of Sandusky Ohio.

“Yes, who else wants to comment on my amazing cock?”

“Oh Buttkiss! Your dick is the envy of all dicks! I wish my pathetic uncircumcised husband had a dick like yours. Just look at him. You tell by the look on his face how flacid and lifeless our sex life is.”

“Thank you miss Wineberg. You are a true lady. Come see one of my attendants after this meeting and I will assure your support with my unprotected gratitude.”

“Anyone else have any comments to say about my amazing giant, circumcised dick of magic powers to save you all from sin with my sex life?”

“Yeah! I’ve got something. What’s the deal with Nick Bylotas? Have you ever heard of that guy? He’s been saying some crazy shit about the government—”

“You, you. Now.”

Two suited g-men roughly grab the man and haul him out of the meeting hall.

“Does anyone else want to ask questions that will get them detained and put in terrorist prison for the rest of their life? … I thought not. Now, let me tell you about my amazing health plan for common working people. You can’t afford it. It’s only for rich people. Isn’t that great? You can sacrifice your personal health for the needs of the rich and know you are doing the Christian thing.”

Vote for Afro Buttkisser. He’ll be on both ballots.

This message paid for by Nazi Jew party of Friendship with Evil.