Kids these days...
Y’all youngsters don’t know how good you have it! Back in my time, when dial up internet was used, we weren’t able to rely on instant service, and you need to learn those survival skills too!
“Dial up internet? Is that like a mobile hot spot, or something?”
No, god damnit! Dial up internet is like…. the Devil who humanity bargained with to have the internet we enjoy today. It was super slow, evil, and a pain in the ass that was unnaturally difficult to uninstall. More trouble than it was worth until we invented something better.
Now, get back to your virtual realism or whatever you call that headwear hat thing and glove apparatus. Leave your sisters and I alone so we can enjoy our prune juice together and play shuffle board in peace.
This is a serious financial request of ultimate fundraising needs. Please donate money, lots and lots of money, to fund my travel to Japan and pay for my hotel expenses in Tokyo for several years or so including restaurant, bar, clothing, entertainment, transportation, and language learning class skills taught by cute maidly maiden teachers. I’ll also need enough to cover any dating expenses I may incur.
I’m serious! I need this money so I can spend enough time there to meet a nice Japanese maiden to marry and make the happiest maiden ever forever with my ultimate supreme devotion, romance, and passionate selflessness for her desires being fulfilled. Then I can immigrate to Japan as a legal resident and never call America home again.
Thanks,