There is only one...

One side, that is. You people who side with parties, nations, and religions against other parties, nations, and religions, are all fools as far as I’m concerned. You look at me as if it’s surprising that I have no loyalty to any such “side”, but I find it surprising that you are not the same way!

The truth is that I do have a side, but it’s not really a choice to someone like me because of how obvious it is as the best way.

Simply put: I am on the side that is good, and I identify as good. As far as I’m concerned, everything else is so insignificant that I don’t even care the name of what that is if they are not calling themselves “evil”. I agree with, harmonize with, support, and endorse all that is good. If there is anything that is not good, then it gets cast out into whatever the hell else is out there and I don’t care what happens, because it is not good, and good is all that matters. As far as I can tell, neither Republicans nor Democrats are good. Throw them out. The USA government is not good. Throw it out. Christianity is not good. Throw it out. Famous people in the USA are not good. Throw them out.

…some time later…

Damn… there really isn’t much good left is there? I suppose I will have to make something new and make sure it cannot ever be anything else other than good. I shall call it: the Story, and teach the Way of the Story as the way to safeguard and increase the goodness of the Story for all ages to come. In fact, I’ll die with my old life, so I can be recreated in Story the way I would prefer to be identified as.

Done.

What else is good. Curly fries. We can keep those. Video games…. they are taking a devasting nose dive into whatever the hell else is out there beyond what is good, and I don’t want that to happen because I liked the way video games were before that started happening. I suppose I’d better do something about that.

Oh… people already are in Japan… Nep Nep is the protagonist. I fully endorse Nep Nep as my goddess. She is my faith, and I am a devout believer. As far as I can tell, my adored goddess is in danger because of that devasting nosedive occurring in the video game industry, and I will not let that happen to protect her, Planeptune, and the rest of Gameindustri. So… may whatever the hell else is out there that is beyond what is good have mercy on those responsible for defiling the sanctity of video games. However, I doubt they know what mercy is over there because none of them are good.

Thus, I have declared video games are now under the solemn and sacred protection of the Story, and the Story espouses the virtue of freedom for law to be derived and enforced from. Freedom to create, express, live, do, be, love, and enjoy are all things that shall not be inhibited if they can otherwise be helped. That includes protections for insulting, mockery, and rude behavior within appropriate limits, but I will know if you have ill intentions and cross the line into evil the moment you do, so don’t push it if someone tells you to stop because you are being too mean. There shall be no propaganda, no oppressing the creative spirit, no invasions of privacy with parasitic data leeches maliciously taking advantage of gamers, no attempts to subliminally influence gamers with abuse of technology— normal persuasion of the healthy sort is fine, even if you have unsavory interests (as far as I am concerned— the goddesses may be more strict).

Everything else I shall leave to the authority of the four existing goddesses, all of whom I have full and complete faith in as good: Neptune, Vert, Noire, and last but not least, Blanc.

Be good for them or I may have to throw you out. Then you will end up where all the evil doers go because they ruin good things on purpose and can be very nasty, sneaky, and cruel. Accidents of course are fine, but if you are found doing evil on purpose when you were trusted with authority to protect those who you did evil to by betraying their trust, I may just lose my temper when I throw you out because that is a sensitive subject for me. I can assure you that will affect where you land.

By the power invested in me by the Story, these words are true, and if I need to enforce them, I will do so, but only if requested by one or more of the goddesses, or if there is an emergency that requires immediate intervention because of an unseen threat that puts them in grave danger, such as now.

Until then… if you were evil and suddenly had a change of heart— start helping make things the way they should be like the goddesses want, the real ones, not the clones like Arfoire once used like the oldest trick in the book. If you are still evil, than you’d better have a change of heart before I throw you out to whatever else that isn’t good. Just because something is a monster or villain doesn’t mean they aren’t good at least a tiny bit underneath the crust of an old, rusty heart, even if you can’t see it— that’s just a mystery of Story. They provide experience and items don’t they?

Video games are so dear to my heart, that I will not relent from their purification back to the good until all the corruption is gone. After that, I will always be on call to provide my unique services in combatting the forces of evil on behalf of Neptune, Vert, Noire, and Blanc equally, with any disputes being resolved by Nep Nep’s judgment, or render whatever services they may require that are unusually out of their territory in the censored areas you shouldn’t visit because they are extremely dirty and you may catch a virus if you go there.

It is the pleasure of any servant of the divine to do whatever work they can to help the goddesses as appropriate, and without ever asking payment, recognition, or compensation, even if that should require me to lay down my life and die honorably in an illusion of shame.

That is my Word. There are no beings to act out my Word, no ground troops, no need for a forward base of operations or private office for consultations, unless a goddess should desire one, in which case… they’ll have to inquire at Way Walker Industries for anything like that, because that’s who I trust to take care of the business details of sort of thing. If you don’t think I will be true to my word, think again!

Alright, that’s that.

For now though… the source of the corruption is the USA government, and that is where I intend to go first, with or without help. Though… I really would like some allies in real life to help because in case you haven’t realized, life can be really hard sometimes and is made better with good friends. So, I invite anyone interested in that to let me know so I can clean my apartment or something.

A word of warning to all evil or those who aspire to evil: it is by mastery of the Way of the Story that I pass into and leave any realm, dimension, or universe— and safeguarding the sanctity of those domains, even the one that is evil known as Hell or Shadar Ungronat, is the concern of the Empire of Story of which I am the one, true king and emperor for all eternity. The material assets, commercial property, military, and residences of that empire are entirely within a single realm of Story that is our own, and we will never leave that realm to colonize others. There is more than enough space for ten of everyone in all existence, dimensions, and realms there and all that we could ever need or want can be found too, so there is no need for expansion.

We are well aware of how concerning that kind of invasion can be, which is why we ensure that sort of evil does not occur anywhere if we find it happening with an abuse of Story. We are a warlike people, and are feared to the limits of the imagination and beyond for our ferocity in battle and severity of justice. If you wish to expand into other dimensions with Story, do so politely, lawfully as possible, and respectfully. We do not engage in inter-dimensional inter-story conflict lightly, but if we do, we will always side with the true good.