Submarine Veterans Kickstarter
This Kickstarter is for establishing a formal Submarine Veterans Club in downtown Portland, OR for all. Submarine Veterans will be able to have special membership with various perks, but anyone and everyone can visit as well, because this Club will also be a fully functional bar and music venue.
The decor and theme will obviously be submarine Navy themed and there will be submarine merchandise available for purchase. Additionally, active duty Navy submarines can have their MWR products offered for sale at our gift store either by catalogue or in store-purchases they commission with us to sell, and we share our profits with them. That will be of no cost to the participating ships. There will also be special thank you awards for the ship's crew that will be sent to their deployed location if their merchandise sells at certain thresholds.
I'm a submarine veteran myself and these land lubbers just don't seem to understand... It's all good though. That's why I want to establish a submarine veterans club in Portland. There was one in Groton Connecticut when I was in sub school and I want to continue that tradition over here on the West Coast. If things go well, maybe we can create a franchise to facilitate submarine clubs, but that will always require a unique development by resident of the locale and will never compromise the unique identity of the original location this Kickstarter is for. Not like McDonalds, more like McMenamins, except more like a club than a restaurant.
This place will not only be intended as the perfect hangout for Navy submarine vets, but also for Navy vets in general, all veterans, and all people. The club will endeavor to hire local bands to perform on the weekends at our modest stage or will accept charity performances by more famous bands if they want to do a show there. The details of that will have to be arranged with the Club Manager.
That's about it. As of right now, the main focus is going to be serving alcoholic beverages, but will also have non-alcoholic beverages for kids, and a small menu, but this place is not a restaurant. It is a bar first. It is also a club. We'll have pool tables, darts, some arcade games, and anything else that could provide entertainment, and although we will try to accommodate minors to be able to enjoy themselves if they are brought along, there will also be adult only themed events. Those may potentially involve strippers depending on the Club Manager (special events).
As of right now, I am not volunteering to be Club Manager. However... I'm not averse to the idea, but... I've got other plans. Ideally I'd like to be a member and trust the operation of the establishment to another professional who is dedicated to the vision.
We will also try to stay active in local events, community services, and provide a hub of veteran services for those of us who are struggling to make it as a civilian. While we will not be a shelter organization, we will make it a priority to provide whatever assistance we can to veterans of any branch who are having a tough time, to include fundraisers for individuals.
There is also no limit on what can be performed on the stage. While the Club is primarily intended for musical performances the Club Manager may choose to host any kind of event there, so it will be set up to be as universally efficient as possible.
That's about it. That's the vision I want to Kickstart into realty. As long as I am the only person running this campaign I will do everything required to the best of my ability. I am a business owner of over ten years and am experienced in these kinds of projects, but if there are any funders or individuals who think this project is something they can take the lead on, I will do what I can to entrust the success to another leader.
If there is nobody who sees this vision as their own, then I will maintain it for as long as necessary until I can pass the reigns on to another who I trust will do justice to the submarine community.
So…. yeah. That’s the campaign. Kickstarter doesn’t work though. So… I don’t know why that is even a thing. I think I funded someone before, but… I can’t figure it out. I followed the steps, entered my business information, but it won’t accept that. So… there is nothing more I can do. This project cannot be launched with Kickstarter because they do not recognize me.
Oh well. Not my problem anymore. At least I did my best. I have more important shit to do with my life than try to figure out how to navigate through all that bull shit. Seriously… I went to TurboTax, who I’ve done my taxes with for the last seven years and all of a sudden they do not have any of my records. I don’t have time for this shit. I am too poor and annoyed with the USA to go through any effort to figure out systems that they do not understand need to be simplified, not overly complicated to try and monetize services.
Wtf… when I first started that service it was efficient and useful. Now it is purposely inefficient, no longer useful, and they no longer have my file history. What a pain. I don’t have the patience for this at the moment and likely never will again.
This is the second time I tried to use a Kickstarter for something and found it an arbitrary obstacle of unhelpfulness and a waste of time.
If anyone wants to make this happen go ahead.
Here are the rewards:
$25 — Name added to funders honor placard
On opening day there will be a party and all funders will be recognized and honored with the placement of the official placard in a prominent place of honor for as long as the club remains open. Also funders will receive a special thank you certificate and a card they can show at the club for a 10% discount on all purchases.
$75 — Official Funder Coin(+) and Pint Glass
Funders who contribute $75 will receive the first tier reward and also an official coin as a funder and a pint glass, both with the logo of the club. Additionally, if you visit the location and show your funder coin you will receive a free club coin which will be on sale normally and different than the funder coin.
$500 — Submarine Mystery Box
This is a mystery box, which means the contents are secret. However, a few facts can be revealed: the contents will be at least 5 in number and will all be submarine themed. All mystery boxes will be the same. Funders at this level will also receive the $25 and $75 tier rewards. The items in this box will be tastefully chosen to honor the esteemed and storied history of submarines and submarine veterans.
$2,000 — Historical-Style Portrait Displayed
Donors who donate $2000 dollars or more will receive all the other tier rewards as well as have a historical painting style portrait of their choice commissioned (anything at all) by a professional artist (photography/graphic design). This painting will be displayed on the walls of the establishment for as long as the club is running. You will also receive a printed copy of the image. Funders at this level will have personal correspondence with me(starter) to confirm their desired portrait and I will do my best to entertain even the most fantastical concepts, but will be limited to the services available in your local area.
What other more important things?
uh… idk, jacking off, taking a shit, picking my nose, just about anything and everything else that is not a purposeful inconvenience to life and progress even if I don’t want to do it.
Seriously… it will probably be easier to send paper tax documents in this year than use the online apps. That will probably also make it more difficult for the government. lmao
It’s moments like this where I think, damn is it good to be poor. What are you going to do, sue me!? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha go ahead and fine me Uncle Sam. Charge me bills I cannot pay because you won’t allow me to make any money. There seriously need to be some IQ tests to check the imbeciles who get into government or something, because those idiots are retarded and it is not a disability.