Grossness Rising

Do you feel the ages turning?

The chaos of our cataclysm

ends the world about time

because everyone wants to die.

It is the mystery of male power

laid bare before the sight of all

and woe to maidens who helplessly fall

into the darkest truth of truest love.

What had been hidden?

What had been lost?

What has changed our lives to end the days!?

It was sudden, and unexpected,

all eyes lost in delusion.

From the great waters of the apocalypse,

rose a volcano from the mythic depths,

it was none other than: Mount Vaginadick.

Glorious and compelling like never before,

heralding the end, answering prophets of yore.

Volcano Vaginadick, great and grand,

rising from the water, terrifying all to behold,

what horrors are in store!?

What more!? An avalanche of earth!

The volcano recedes!

A mystery so frightening,

so powerful, so magnificently gross,

the maidens cannot resist.

And the siege begins to claim the throne,

for a maiden alone can rule this realm,

a maiden of darkness, shadow, and desire,

a maiden of purest love, eyes afire.

You may be asking yourself, “what is the point of this strange verse?” Well… it occurred to me during a luxurious multi-hour soak in hot eucalyptus infused waters while cleansing my face with a detoxifying matcha mask and listening to Gabrielle Aplin while drinking a strawberry margarita that: my dick is like a volcano, except the desire of it is maidenly while the expression entirely manly, thus: Mount Vaginadick is the sign of the apocalypse all have been awaiting.

So… you’re welcome.

“Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do, that’s the way the Story goes.” Panic Cord. Gabrielle Aplin.