Something real

This nightmare has been nearly a decade long, and we all want it to end.

I don’t know what your problem is, you who have a problem with me. On the other hand, I’ve aired my grievences, voiced my concerns, and brought to light all that I am confronting. Whether you ignore me forever or use your own voice, that confrontation has happened and is not going to change. The effects of it are “set in stone” so to speak, irreversible, and unavoidable. How those effects will play out is not determined because that will depend entirely on what we all choose to do relative to the confrontation. Whether you do something or not, those are decisions. You don’t need to concern yourselves with what I will think of you, but you should concern yourselves with what posterity will think of you at the very least, and if you have faith, whatever the object of your faith is.

However, you seem to want something from me, that much is clear. You do not want to kill me, otherwise I would be dead by now. It is quite easy to kill a human being. I do not know what you want though.

You want my personal power, charisma, and experience? Please be realistic. There is no way you can have that because you are not me. Maybe ask me to do what it is you want, because I do not know what that is, and am not inclined to serve the government in any situation other than formal employment and never again at that.

You want to be able to do what I do with writing and thinking? With all the time that has gone by you have proven unable to do so. Perhaps you should ask for help learning.

You want me circumcised? No. You don’t need me to do that.

This is what I want: escape from the USA. I want to leave this accursed nation and I don’t care if I ever return. I want to formally accept citizenship in another nation even if that costs me citizenship here.

Basically I want asylum from the USA, and this is my formal request. I know other nations are watching me, and hopefully you have ideas for how I can benefit your economy or media industry in some way if I worked for you. Will you please offer me a job?

As for citizenship, I would most prefer to change my citizenship to Japan and become a loyal subject of the emperor and empress. I’m not moved by politicians, but I don’t intend to be problem for them either nor confront them as I did here. It was the right thing for me to do to address the problems in my own nation, but I would not do that for another nation without the courtesy of a guest instead of that of the host, meaning if you asked my opinion or it was severely oppressive in ways you didn’t realize were harming me and I would do first what I did here: first approach politely, then as a guest I would not demand a response as I did in the USA since this place is my rightful home and I don’t need to ask permission to talk to someone in my own home. I also will not be bullied or disrespected without fighting back.

So, there is no need to worry about me being a problem or disturbance if you are considering employing me or adopting me and are a foreign nation.

Finally, if you would require circumcision before allowing me to immigrate to Japan, I would likely consent to doing so after considering what the offer is, because you should not be asking that without promising something of great value. I’m not making any promises about that, but it seems fair to submit my body and blood to the adopting nation to demonstrate my loyalty.

The fact of the matter is this: I am not going to do any of that unless I receive real communication stating what that is. A person, a letter, a phone call, an email— something real and tangible that informs me in clear terms what it is you want me to do. That is my requirement to demand simple human decency for polite social behavior, but also because I have been diagnosed with ASD and I do not want to misinterpret a single detail of what your terms are.

I am always fine understanding professional communication, so this is not something to be concerned about. It is expressing myself to others personally that I find problematic because I have very little social experience in life, and very little of that socializing with women. Most of my adult career was spent working in all-male environments (all-male as a formal policy). That’s only getting worse with how the USA government has been tormenting me socially, but it’s not a permanent problem (social difficulty). I just need practice and experience, and if it is not too much to ask, a little patience helping me.

So please, send me a real job offer, a real communication, a real something that clarifies what you want of me. Do you want me to stop expressing myself so confrontationally? Well, if I am that much of a threat to you, maybe you should respect me enough to have a little prudence about the threat. Talk to me directly about the heart of the problem. Tell me what your concerns are and offer me something in return if you want something from me at all. I don’t owe anyone anything other than money for student loans and credit cards, and I have already made arrangements with the lender for that.

I’m not saying I will agree to anything, but that’s the only way you are going to get any agreement with me at this point.