Must be a leprechaun

….

I don’t know how else to tell you this, but I have a leprechaun. I caught it humanely using a haggis and pickled polish sausage after it pulled numerous pranks on me, and it has agreed to stop such foolishness in exchange for answering a few questions on national television about the leprechaun community.

He said he may even be able to call up Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny who live in his apartment complex if people want, because they have a few things they want to say to the world too.