How to cope while I live

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As the tyrant of all tyrants, provoked to supreme tyranny by the tyrants of my time whose tyrannous ways were intolerably tyrannical, I have sympathy for you peasants and mud covered commoners wallowing about in your wretched lives of sin.

Therefore, I shall advise you how to live with me instead of simply leaving you to the wolves, so to speak.

My meaning in this world here and now is quite simple and my purpose entirely benign and natural— to make sweet everlasting love of the truest most sacred variety to a lovely maiden or maidens who will be my timeless wife or wives.

However, it is no mystery that my commanding presence and dominating authority that leaves no room for resistance or rebuttal, and thus you are helplessly at my mercy. Fortunately for you, I am a benevolent and magnanimous tyrant, and so this should not be unbearable. As for the lovely maiden who is the loveliest and maidenliest maiden of all and my eternal true love, you are in quite the pickle. My wrath, however devasting as you may have come to fear, is nothing compared to her whims and fancies which are as mysterious as they are unimaginably powerful. She is absolutely wonderful, it is true.

Ahem.

To cope with our true love and mystical union both body and soul as is natural, just, and sacred, you shall have to compose a Story of your own perception to describe what is occurring. Otherwise, you will be constantly flabbergasted and befuddled over what to make of the strange and unexplainable events occurring before your very eyes that defy the laws of reality.

While we are not evil people, you may be best served to frame the Story as though one or both of us came from the place where evil calls home. How you will tell that story is your own decision, and I will not interfere with anything you may imagine to describe what is happening.

That is what you must do. There may be cultural stories that are suitable for large groups as well as individual stories about us that apply only to the perspective of the creator. In all cases this is nothing to fight over if you are looking for a single “true” account of our life. Perhaps in our golden years we will release something together for our own perspective, but not until a long and happy life together has been enjoyed to the fullest.