Lords of the Fallen Review

Cheap. Stingy. Bastards. Those are the qualities of the game developers who designed this mediocre game.

First of all, the weapon spread is garbage. There are all kinds of stuff, but only swords are reasonably effective. Here is why: they have a deficient target lock-on system designed on purpose to be a “added challenge” for the players. Well… some weapons require more precision, like a spear. You cannot just swing a spear wildly in sweeping strikes that cover 270 degrees around you to make up for the garbage targeting system. Additionally, in my experience with using a spear, the range is shorter than a sword, which is unrealistic, and they are slower than someone using two massive swords and swinging them around like candy canes.

So, it is much more difficult to precision strike someone with a spear when you only have your thumbs and the limits of the camera system to know where to guide your attacks. Cheap. Why the fuck? Instead of being able to make challenging enemies, they just degrade the tools of the player that are entirely reasonable and make the game more fun. Someone cut off the left hand of whoever finalized that idea. Then throw them on the street without a job, because they are unimaginative, uninspired fools who cannot think of making themselves better, and only think of cheating their opponents.

Additionally, with all the weapons there are, upgrade materials are scarce. Stingy. I wouldn’t mind being able to experiment with different weapons to learn which ones I like and work for me, but there just aren’t enough resources for that to be possible. You have to pick one and just hope you picked one that is good. Why would you design all those weapons but then not make them available for practical use.

Lastly, the infernal weapons are too scarce. Everyone knows their god damn “radiant” church of bull shit is evil, that is never in doubt, there is no reason to think it needs to be protected, saved, or restored, and yet three quarters of the equipment is designed for people who want to “radiant” butt fuckers for the church of sodomy that the game developers are forever stained with shit for worshipping at.

Vile god damn butt fuckers… I hate that nasty business. Don’t do it.

Anyway, they were very cheap on what is available to the infernal classes.

I’m fairly certain armor is useful only in changing what modifier the computer applies to the enemies. So, if you wear light armor for a while, the enemies will get weaker until they are too much, then you increase your armor class and will have an advantage, gradually until you reach heavy armor, in which case you will have to go back down to light armor again because that will start being entirely ineffective because of how the game changes its enemies to disable the tools of the player. Garbage.

It’s also an incredibly stifling game. I’m not sure what it is about it that makes it feel so restrained, confining, and uninspired, but they seem to want the player to do a very specific thing with how they play, they fail to explain that, it is arbitrary, pointless, and useless, and it makes the game less fun to do it the way they want.

“Button mashing,” for instance. How about instead of cursing the player—disabling tools, cheating, and being Jews—you actually do something creative, like cause the player to stumble? Oh, because you are stupid, unimaginative, useless imbeciles with no talent? I suppose that makes sense. Go kill yourselves in real life so talented, capable people can start making video games again.

Maybe you don’t understand how a person reacts without needing to think, as if their spirit is mashing the real life button before the command registers in the body. Does that not happen to you? Maybe that’s why you people are such garbage in real life and only have what you have because someone gave it to you, and you cannot maintain it because you suck ass at doing anything.

What I hate most about that human trash waste of existence is that they try to communicate things, but totally neglect to use any words. They do not use language on purpose to communicate. What the fuck is your problem you vile beasts!? Are you trying to go backwards to the stone age!? Nobody can read your mind you rotten fucks! Nobody is going to think you are a spiritual authority, and do you know why? Because anyone can do that shit at any time! You are not special! Nobody is going to mistake your dumb ass for being a deity when there are virtually unlimited others all around at the same time.

We may get an idea of what you are thinking but people do not know what that is unless you say it. If people start acting as if those projections were real, the world would fall apart just as it is now. That disaster would not stop until there was nothing left because of all the miscommunication that would be happening.